Day 53 - WHY SO LONG?!

Why hello there readers.  I appoligize for the lack of communication with the world about this touchy subject as of late.  Last time I posted, I was on day 23 of my cycle and was basically told to come back on day 35 for a pregnancy test, blood work and ultrasound, in which we found out that there was still no change despite the increase of drugs as well as injections.  Let's face it readers, I fell apart.  I cried, I stayed in bed for a few days...and I cried some more. The last thing I wanted to do was to was to post my sad news, and have everyone feel sorry for this poor little soul of mine.  

I decided that it really wasn't all that bad if my husband and I didn't have children. It would be a bit lonely, but I had him, my fur baby Miss B, my horses, cows and of course my family to lean on when it would get rough.  We talked about options, what we were going to do. Would we go back and try another cycle? Would we increase the drugs and potentially go for an IVF cycle?  What about adoption? 

I set up an appointment with our Dr. at Soft to discuss the drug options.  I also expressed my feelings to my husband about how I was unsure I wanted to go through with more injections in my stomach. I literally have had...enough.  I have been all sorts of drug combinations for the past three years. Nothing was working. And when I manage to get pregnant...it still wasn't working.

So here we are on Day 53.  Why day 53?  because I haven't taken Birth Control to start my period. But  why?  Because when you are trying to focus on a happier you, you do not need to be going through "shark week" on top of it.  I am focusing on eating healthier, exercising, clearing my mind of everyday nonsense that usually would bother or worry me.  Learning to accept what the dear Lord throws at me. Learning to love myself, even when I feel broken at times.  

So readers, I am afraid I don't  have any exciting news to tell you.  We are taking a break from the Fertility Monster and going on vacation!  With my business booming, we have decided to wait a few months when things slow down to discuss our options further.  

I will be in touch with everyone when we return from California.  Perhaps a miracle will happen ;-)